Okay time for a rant. I hate, not dislike, or even just loathe, I HATE these mail firm companies that offer the poor unsuspecting pidgeon their product for what seems to be a reasonable price. Then not only do they offer you the product but since they claim they are your "friend" and since you are so nice, they are generously are going to send you a second unit of the product asbsolutely FREE!! Yeah real free alright, in reality in small print you are still on the hook for ONLY additional shipping and handling. WOW what good guys they are! Then you rush to your phone to get that order in before someone buys the last one(Two?). Or you jump into the internet to buy it on line yeah! Up clicks the flashy display page showing the item in full living color, and you are chomping at the bit to buy! There is the holy grail button (also known as the submit button) and up pops the information page. After filling out the important info, you put in the credit card number and you are now about to launch into the proud ownership of the product in duplicate! Then the reality check drops on your head like the Green Giant stomping a helpless bug. The total for the order is TWICE or THREE times what you originally thought. WHAT is going on here? Scanning down these pompous charges you discover that the small shipping and handling fee is a couple of pennies short of the USA debt load! The item cost you $9.99 with a shipping and handling fee is $9.99 more. When they add in the second FREE item with shipping /handling charge , suddenly the entire order is $29.97. That means you are paying $9.99 for the 2 items (of course one is FREE) and $19.98 for shipping /handling. I refuse to be connived into spending twice as much for shipping and item(s) than the original cost of the item. I have been in the mailing business for over 20 years, and I can say I am a bit of an expert on shipping values. A 4 ounce items (X 2 = 8 ounces) does not cost a company almost $20 to ship. Even if you factor in the handling? charge, any idiot should know that if you pack an order with the same 2 items, it does not take twice as much time, the items should theoretically be in the same place and it is a simple job just to pick up 2 of them and pack them in the same box. I propose that we all band together and protest with our wallets. Refuse to buy these knuckleheads products, and eventually even the thick headed marketers will come to the realization that they are doing something wrong. They probably will think up some new scam to lay on the masses. Anyway that is how I see it.
My only friend is a Zombie, he ate everyone else!
Will the Kansas City Chiefs step up and control their own destiny? Or will they slump and fail in the end to win the Division Championship outright? Good questions but no real good answers. The answers will depend on which team shows up over the next two weekends, the Chiefs that have easily handled several teams this year and looked like powerhouses, or the team that got their tails whipped in both Denver AND San Diego. The Kanas City Chiefs have a potential Defense that has shown to be almost titantic at times, stopping virtually anything the offenses have thrown at them. Then suddenly out of the blue the defense at times looks like a kid on a tricycle could pedal his way through them. The defense in certain games has made average runners look like superstars, and below average running backs look really good. Romeo Crennel is an innovative coordinator most of the time, but some of the problems with the defense has to fall on his shoulders. On the other hand the defense sometimes just tackles poorly, gets caught in the wrong defensive scheme, or simply gets beat by the offensive receivers. The next two weeks will tell us just how far the Kansas City Chiefs have come in their surprising rebuilding mode this year. No one including this writer gave a chance that the Chiefs would be contending for a playoff spot this year, let alone be leading the division this year. Yeah we can point out that their schedule was heavily slanted to poorer talented teams, easier than many other teams schedules. It can also be said that the other teams in our division have played below their own talents and have lost many games that they originally has perceived to be a “win”. This said, the bottom line is that the Kansas City Chiefs have played much better than any of the other teams and now stand at the brink of not only playing into the playoffs, but winning the division. The San Diego Chargers have almost played their way out of the division race, but are still hanging in there. If the Chiefs win the last two games, they can wave bye-bye to them. If they lose one of the last two, and San Diego wins both of their last two, the Chiefs lose the Division title to Chargers because of tie breakers. If the Chiefs AND the Chargers both lose both of their last two games, and then you have the possibility for the Oakland Faders (ooopps I meant the Raiders) become a major factor. This division is by no ways sewn up, however if the Raiders lose one of their last two games, they cannot catch the Chiefs or the Chargers, they presently sit two games back with two games to go and have no margin for error. The end result is that the Kansas City Chiefs must find their defense, create a point producing juggernaut, and cannot snooze their way into the playoffs, they must take care of business and spank both Tennessee and the Raiders, and the fans can then can sit back and smile out loud Then of course we begin worrying about the playoffs…….but we get way ahead of ourselves.
Do Zombies in fact "love" eating living human beings? Or do they just act upon the instinct of needing sustenance and attack the first living human they can find? I use the term living human beings because rarely in horror flicks does the Zombified individual nosh upon anything but good living human flesh. They can have a plethora of living animals around them and they still go for the 2 legged upright intelligent animal. Why is this? Before they joined the fraternity of the dead, these creatures more than likely feasted upon succulent pork chops, hearty hamburgers, fried chicken, or possibly even american beef. Why then do they now prefer flesh of their own species to satisfy the nagging hunger of death? Personally dead or alive give me a 2 inch porter house steak with sauteed mushrooms and I am a happy camper. This brings up a sidebar of thought, if your life was wasted on vegetables, legumes, and roots as a vegan, then would you become a card carrying member of the better red (meat) than undead club? Somehow a Zombified vegan standing in the middle of a garden of vegetables munching on carrot roots and celery stalks, does not bring to the average mind the romantic lure of clutching, grasping, horrible undead creatures attacking and ripping off chunks of muscle mass from innocent virgins. Somehow that scene loses something in the translation to the film screen. Zombies Are Economically Sound One thing is evident, since Zombies seem to prefer living flesh, think of all the money you can save on not needing any kind of cooking pots, pans, and utensils. Furthermore a stove would become a thing of the past. Cookbooks will vanish from the earth, and Julia Childs or Graham Kerr, or even Wolfgang Puck would become a whisper in the wind! Just think of all the piles of Tupperware and Glad storage containers that will no longer have a use. Wow I can think of multi billions of dollars saved if you simply made everyone a Zombie. Unfortunately there would be a lot of big drawbacks. One major hurdle, if everyone is a Zombie, who do you eat? Do you raise herds of foreigners in the lnow useless cattle pens just to satisfy the new hunger? How bout attracting the illegal aliens across the border to feed the dead masses? It solves 2 problems at once. The Social Ladder of the Undead Do rich folk who fall under the teeth attack refuse to chomp on poor people? Or do poor people who eat rich folks step up the social ladder? What does one wear when joining in a flesh fest? You must remember whatever you die in after being partially eaten is probably all you'll ever wear again. I do not think there are any fashion boutiques for Zombies, and from what I have seen no Zombie will ever win a best dressed award. Clothes make a man, what do they make a Zombie? Another thing, all the Zombies I have seen are generally drenched in blood, is the more blood you wearing bring you up the social scale with the other Zombie bretheren? Just think if Tide could come up with a special detergent just to remove the blood spots they would really clean up! (Obvious pun intended) More tidbits of thought later........ Love a Zombie, Lose a Limb?
My earlier story posting kind of veered off the cliff and never quite finished the original thought. My question posed was how does a Zombie actually move and kill? Or simply put how do they tick? I am a purist in that if I am to subject myself to 1.5 to 3 hours of Zombie love or Hate?) in film form, I want to know there is some basis of fact in the action on the screen and the reality of the world. In most stories, movies, the Zombies kill only the living. Why is this? I pointed out that one explanation came from the smell of the dead versus the living. I have to reject this, because many folks today are patently afraid of a bar of soap and any kind of water not mixed in a drink. I have actually been exposed to the assault upon my own nasal passages by otherwise intelligent interesting people. If indeed the dead can smell the living then how do they distinguished between those of the unwashed living and those of the dead and rotting flavor? Being Recruited To Death When one of the undead is trying to recruit new more bodies into their own army at what point do they begin realizing they are not helping their cause chomping on a fellow in arms? Does the living person or persons when they die immediately begin exhuding an aroma of death? How long does it take this process to start? It is also sometimes shown in these horror flicks that the Zombies seem to have the knack for attacking beautiful people first ( IE the busty blondes or the sassy red heads). Ugly people need not apply, are they generally smart enough? or luckier than the elite cuties to avoid being caught and served as a snack or one course of a 4 limb meal? I am not an expert on the subject, but I would guess and ugly person would be just as tasty or untasty as the beautiful boobed broad, or the hunky guy on the beach scene commercial. Okay so maybe Zombies do not have any sense of taste, then why not munch on their neighbor or the babysitter living or dead? Is there some sort of Zombie rule that only the living are in bounds to be eaten? Might there be some sort of Zombie Police to make sure only new recruits be initiated? It sure would add to the overall availability of munchies if they would broaden their horizons. Undead Puppets or Mindless Plague Once again I am wandering aimlessly away from my original thought, how does a Zombie who's heart is no longer moving the blood along to all parts of the body have any kind of animation. Maybe Zombies are really puppets being controlled from elsewhere by invisible strings, doing the beck and call of some evil and unknown master puppeteer. But what is the point? How can this hidden "boss" profit by having their unwitting subjects gnaw away? I am beginning to think that there should be a foundation to study the Zombies so we can all know how they work, or in the least, a panel of Zombie experts. Just don't pick anyone who might be tasty enough to be eaten before they discover the answers. Americans need to know, so you government bigwigs must establish a Zombie organization for the study of and possibly the eradication of the Zombie threat. It may simply be that Zombies need love to .......maybe they will control their antisocial behavior if they get more hugs. I think we should give them a few PETA members and see what will happens.
Anyone ever think or even notice that in all the Zombie movies up to now, the Zombies are generally dead bodies that have reanimated into moving killing machines? Now on a scientific level, exactly how does that work? The Human Body is a complex formula of chemical reactions that turn into movement of organs, muscles and actions. Yet if the body is actually dead, then how can a Zombie move? Not only do they move but they sometimes move swiftly, and with at least a rudimentary intelligence. Not all Zombies of course react the same way and in some movies actually are simply beings who have been taken over mentally. For arguments sake we will only refer to the "dead" bodies reanimated. If a muscle does not get a chemical electrical action that animates it, then how does dead tissue create movement. Furthermore as the body lays in death, rigor mortis sets in and the muscles become stiff and unmoving. Now exactly how is this overcome, and why does the Zombie begin moving? The eventuality of Zombism.... Now in some movies there are variations, such as time passes the Zombies slowly rot away, and eventually are destroyed through natural body tissue breakdown. Other variations, the Zombie continues on until the brain stem is destroyed. Why is this? If the brain is not being used except in only the most basic of functions why is it so important to the general well being of the entire body? How can a Zombie see? When the body dies, the eyes are one of the first organs to die off, with sight going black. This is caused by the lack of blood flow to the eye, which ceases the chemical and electrical impulses to operate the eyes. How do these Zombies magically begin seeing again once the body reanimates? Zombie classification from A to Z Why do Zombies always want to kill living people, and how do they distinguish between a live and dead body? It is suggested in at least one show recently a series the Walking Dead it is suggested that the creatures have a different odor thus alerting them not to chew on each other, but then once again the whole chemical reactions creating the sense of smell comes into play. On that note, if a Zombie attacks and kills a living person, the minute that person becomes undead does the Zombie suddenly stop chomping on their new recruit and leave to pursue more fresh meat? Do the Zombies taste a difference between different races or religions? Of course maybe they can't taste at all, just think if a Zombie attacks an unwashed Hippie type would he spit out the chunks? Would they perhaps prefer young virgins? How but Indian flesh today? Thai flesh or saucy South American Latinos? Zombie etiquette? What if the Zombie is toothless? Does he gum his flesh? or does he simply nibble away? What about Alzheimer patients? If a Zombie eats the brains from one, will it become disoriented and forgetful? Finally is there any discrimination among the undead? Will they stop at eating babies? How bout priests or other holy personnel? Or will the chomping of politicians sicken them with disgust? Is there a private hell for Zombied persons or person? No Zombies living or dead were harmed in the publication of this article. We love them all!
It is reported in a story in the December 2010 Missouri Soybean Farmer Magazine, that the Humane Society of the United States (not necessarily affiliated with local Humane Societies) have taken in enormous amounts of cash donations and have spent little if any of this money to help maintain any shelters, or for the direct benefit of any animals. The Humane Society of the United States are reported to have regional offices in 33 states, and are affiliated with a confusing web of corporations, subsidiaries, and organizations of which some are non profit, tax exempt, and for profit organizations. In essence they hide behind these groups to help conceal the fact that of approximately 97 million dollars in donations last year, 22.3 million was spent on fund raising. This means for every 1 dollar they accepted in donations, 23 cents of that was spent to raise more money. What really rears it's ugly head in this article is that the CEO Wayne Pacelle has an annual compensation package of 2.59 million dollars and further adding insult to injury, an additional total of 35.8 million was spent on salaries and benefits for 29 of 629 employees. One more nail in the coffin, is an additional approximately 2.6 million was paid into executive pension plans. This leaves only approximately 33.7 million for all other expenses including the other 600 employees salaries, day to day operating expenses, excess cash on hand at the end of the year (to a tune of 24.8 million) assets of approximately 160.5 million, and finally on the tail end money to help benefit the very creatures supposedly they are working to benefit (not much left at that). This is patently obscene at best, and criminal at the very least. They put out TV commercials showing sad eyed animals (generally dogs, and cats) in woeful conditions, and imply that they are working to alleviate these horrendous situations, but in reality they are simply creating a money machine to line their own pockets. The article is actually aimed at how this organization has been funneling money into State laws to benefit themselves, through enacting laws such as the Proposition B recently barely passed in Missouri. Again these actions are not really helping the animals but rather hurting the small farmer. What this boils down to is where is the real money going which you donated to help the animals? Is it really do any good for those wide eyed sad puppies or just satisfying the greed of a small group of overpaid money hungry corporate animals?
The Kansas City Chiefs have proven once again they are an extremely fragile team with few strengths, and many glaring weaknesses. I have just witnessed the total whipping given to them by the San Diego Chargers. They were beat in almost every facet of the game. Starting with a backup quarterback who is just barely talented enough to be on a mediocre team. Without Matt Cassel, this team cannot go anywhere. Poor throws, lack of timing, even poor decisions plagued the Chiefs all afternoon. Despite the Oakland Raiders losing earlier, the Chiefs could not capitalize on this and in turn drop both the Chargers and the Raiders back three games with only 3 games left. Now instead the Chiefs must go on the road again next week without the services of their main quarterback (a very good possibility). There were at least 2 positives to come out of the game, grodie Brodie protected the ball very well, and they did get several turnovers against the Chargers. Negatively, the Chargers had their own way with the defensive line most of the day, and shut down the offensive line handily. They prevented the Chiefs from getting first downs most of the day, consistently stopped any kind of offense, and ran almost at will against the defense. If the Chiefs cannot right this sinking ship next week in St. Louis, it could come down to a showdown with Oakland the last game of the season, and Oakland although they lost today are not looking all that bad. While the Chiefs might not be keeping you happy these days we do offer other NFL football related items from a number of different teams. Please visit our store to find NFL memorabilia and to browse our other great items.
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