While sitting here watching the news regarding the recent tornado disasters all over the country, I was amused by the usual din from the looney tunes regarding what is about to actually happen around the world. Now I am assuming you by now have heard the anguished cries from the Koo Koo Klan debating the end of the world is just about an everyday occurence . The last well published nut case claimed the world was going to end on May 21st around 6PM in parts of the world. When that prediction went flat he immediately came out the next day or so and said the world was not going to end until October 21st of this year. (This way he can still sell T-shirts and survival robes to his long list of rubes.)Understand this is the same fruitcake who claimed to his followers that the world was ending a while back......then came back with "Oh My bad!" Sorry Charlie....I need even more donations to help me see the true future ahead. I have to admit, personally I think the brainless flock of mindless robots that follow him should be pitied for listening to even one single world uttered from this idiot's worthless cake hole. I have no respect for these supposed and self proclaimed religious zealot (at least usually religion is the background behind their preaching) knuckleheads who spew forth their messages of doom, then when their time table comes due, they speak of a slight miscalculations, or a miniscule error in their thinking, or perhaps a new proclamation from GOD! Most of these dopes are simply preying on the simple minded, or low esteemed persons who populate every nook and cranny of the world. These false idols are like the snake oil salesmen of old who preyed on fear and on insecurity. Now we are suppose to wait holding our breath for October 21st, and if that doesn't happen, I am sure he will have another "revelation" , or then wait a little more than one year and viola we have the great 2012 end of the Mayan Calendar debacle. Supposedly according to these self proclaimed "seers" the Mayan calendar only goes to the date December 21st ,2012. This is said to be true because that is the last written record from the Mayans regarding time. It brings to mind a cartoon I saw a while back where two Mayan Indians are standing over a stone tablet, and the one holding the chisel turns to his Mayan buddy and proclaims "This ought to drive them crazy! I ran out of space to continue the calendar". What is even more perplexing is the number of so called "experts", scientists,scholars and general pain in the butts,who are falling in line with the doomsday predictions. You have this or that astronomer saying the planets will align on that date causing the Earth's poles to shift, and the spin of the Earth to reverse itself. This will cause the continents around the world to shake an shimmy with massive earthquakes,tidal waves, and tempatures changing in wild swings. They then start spouting gibberish that will prove their theories. Oh no the world is coming to an end. Or that a comet or asteroid or other astral body will hit our planet and render the surface uninhabitable. Not to be left behind, Hollywood is spewing out various themes that beat the mantra the world is about to end!!! (Nothing against Hollywood, I like entertainment, but some fools actually believe the cow patty crunchies put into a movie as being real. ) Now really folks, first of all, prognosticators have since the beginning of time predicted the Earth's demise. Way back when we were barely beginning to stand on two legs, the elders or priest would predict the Earth's end whenever there was a full eclipse. Lo and behold that didn't happen. Then there was the change of the century from one to another such as 1899 to 1900, people claimed the world would cease whenever the calendar went from one century to the next. Remember the great Y2K scare of 2000? Many learned experts claimed that the world would collapse in chaos whenever the calendar changed from 1999 to 2000 due to the computers being based on a calendar from the 1900s calendar not the new 2000. Companies across the United States and even the world spent millions if not billions checking all the line codes to correct this evil. It didn't even cause a hiccup on the radar screen when the new year actually came. Some people panicked in 1899 when the new year approached and caused some stirring of fear until the new year arrived and nothing happened. One other example I remember when I was a young man (No my daughter not back in the Stone Age as you thought), I read a book called Criswell Predicts. In this book, the author according to the cover of his book was 87 % accurate on previous predictions he had made, and he predicted a whole slew of horrible events for the next few decades, including the city of Denver, Colorado would be attacked by some sort of alien ray that would turn all buildings and hard structures into rubber and collapse on the hapless occupants, crushing them to death and basically wiping out the entire city's population. Another of his predictions had a lake somewhere in the center of Europe (I do not remember if an exact lake was mentioned) would be full of tourists and swimmers, and suddenly in a very short span of time a new volcano would rise out of the center of the lake and boil alive everyone in it. The last prediction I remember said that a terrible disease would sweep thru the world causing our skin to dry up and crack with painful and deadly results. The only help was to rub the skin with quantities of oil to help defeat this evil. None of these predictions came about, the Denver Donkeys still run the field at Mile High Stadium, only mild sunburns have been reported from the lakes in Europe, and my skin is still baby bottom soft without the use of oil. (kind of screwed up his batting average of 87 % huh?) I learned from this not to believe something just because it was in a book or on TV. Finally I look at these end of the world predictions not only to be false and misleading, but even if they are true, when it hits, there is not a lot I can do to prevent it, so I will simply bend over and kiss my ass goodbye! Grab a can of Michelob Ultra and flip off the cosmos and the comet about to tap dance on the top of my head.
Many years ago, while traveling down a four lane road in Kansas City. I was going east on this road (name with held cause I want to with hold it), and approaching a bridge that rose a bit upward. A brand new Mustang came roaring from behind me and passed me like I a comet passing the moon. The Mustang topped the crest of the hill ahead of me about the middle of the bridge, and then disappeared from sight. As I came over the hill, I suddenly realized there was some sort of black oil slick in front of me on the road, and the Mustang was no where in sight. Slowing down I began glancing around and spotted the oily skid marks swerving to the right and ending at a damaged rail on the side of the road. Fearing the worst, I drove to the end of the bridge and u-turned to proceed underneath the bridge. The road ran alongside the bridge going both directions on each side of the bridge, and crossing over underneath the bridge to service the businesses lined up on both sides of the bridge. Pulling up, I could see the crumpled remains of the Mustang upside down, while the wheels still spinning in the air, and the roof of the car crushed flat against the car's sides, like a crushed aluminum can. I jumped out to see if I could render assistance, and was immediatel joined by another driver who also was passing by at the same time. We both ran to the car calling out to see if any person or persons were inside the wreckage was still alive, but no sound came from the twisted steel. Not giving up hope, the other driver ran back to his truck, and brought back a large pry bar. We inserted the bar between the door and the frame and after considerable effort managed to open the door about two feet. For a second we both held our breath not knowing what kind of mess was inside the car dead or alive. Suddenly from inside the car a set of fingers and then hand appears, followed by an arm and the rest of the driver's figure. He pulls himself out of the wreckage, and slowly gets to his feet, while straightening out his disheveled clothes and brushing off the road debris from his shirt and pants. Oblivious to the fact that we were even standing there, the man turns back to the car (or at least what was left of the car) and surveys the scene for a long second. He then rears back and gives the car a vicious kick. Muttering aloud in a gravely voice he proclaims digustedly "Damn Mustangs, can't even handle a little hill". As things turned out, he was not seriously injured, just a few bumps and bruises, but he was still pissed off about the car's lack of handling. He continued on exclaiming the lack of control by the Mustang, and how it was all the car's fault! Some people just don't get it do they?
Now some people would refer to me as a bit crazy, but I beg to differ on their opinion by saying I am flat out nuts (at least at times). Another gem from my past begins about 18 years ago at an antique / flea market show I was doing in Kansas City. I was setting up my booth early on the morning of the show, and into my booth walks an individual whom I know but do not particularily care much about. His passion was collecting antique radios which at the time my own tastes ran parallel to his. In fact that is how I became to know of him. Now to let you understand what this particular man was about, a conversation with another friend of mine gave me the best description of this guy. His evaluation of the man was that he was the nicest guy you would ever meet until you did any business with him. In this case, if you ever tried to sell, buy or trade an antique radio with him, he would be just as happy to skin you alive and let the buzzards pick your bones than make a decent deal with you. Anyway getting back to the story, he comes into my booth early this morning, and begins looking at the radio related items I was displaying. He comes upon a crystal radio (1920's if not a bit earlier). I had just purchased this radio the previous day at a garage sale for 25 cents, but I knew the retail value to be around $125.00, so I priced the radio at $95.00 so it would sell quickly and pass on a bit of the good price. He turns to me and in his usual condescending tone, tells me that he would be willing to give me ten dollars for the radio. I politely refused, and started to move away when he grabs my arm and becomes insistent on me selling him this radio at his "offer". I again refused and tried to pull away. At this point he remarks in his snotty way "It is only worth 15 dollars at the most". Now normally I am a calm and easy going type of guy, but this individual just plain rubbed me wrong. I am getting angrier by the second as he continues to jabber on about what bad condition the radio was in, and how he was doing me a favor by offering as much as he did. I snatched the radio out of his hands, and began admonishing him. I told him if that was all it was worth, then ........and before I knew what I was doing, I threw the radio on the ground and stomped it flat. Picking up the smashed piece, I held it forth and told him that I would take his offer now. He stood there, with his mouth wide open (kind of like a fish gasping for air) and totally speechless for a few minutes. Finally he manages to to stammer out "I was going to buy that radio" and added "What do you think you are doing?" I grinned at him and told him it was my radio and I could do as I please, and would he kindly exit my display area. At this he turned and stomped out of the booth muttering to himself all the way. I do not really know what prompted my outburst, but one thing kept coming back to me, that was the best 25 cents I ever spent! Interesting sub note; In the years following the incident, whenever this guy walked into my booth, and wanted to buy anything, he always paid the marked price in full, never again to try and low ball me. Isn't life grand?!!