Now that is just downright mean!

Wandering through my storied past, I come across another tale from the recesses’ of my wicked mind.

The story begins as I and my best friend Jack (names have been changed to protect the truly embarassed) are driving our way from Kansas City to Chicago to buy and sell at the big Toy Show that is held 3 times a year in Chicago. On our trek northeasternly Jack is telling me about how he had spent the last six weeks working out everyday trying to improve his health, and stamina. He spent quite a bit of time reshaping and was extremely proud of his results. Personally I am not a really observant person and in all honesty I had not noticed any change in him, due in part to the fact that I had  seen him many times over that period . so I did not notice the gradual process of change.

Anyway, not really thinking about it, we continued on our way and the conversation was forgotten by me. We arrive that Wednesday afternoon, and begin unloading merchandise from the van and to take up to our hotel room.

Within a few minutes of our arrival, one of our mutual friends and fellow toy traders comes by and immediately remarks to me that I am looking good, and how did I lose my weight?

I explained I had not been doing anything special and thanked him for his comment. He turns to Jack eyes him for a second, and nods his direction. He then turns back to me shakes my hand with another compliment  and wanders off.

I begin unloading again, when Jack remarks in a kind of annoyed way,”What gives here? I have been working out hard every day for 6 weeks, and he does not even notice me. You however have not done one thing , and he is all over you gushing about how much better you look! What gives?!

I turn to him and shrug and begin planning my next move. Realizing Jack is somewhat frustrated, I decide to add some gasoline to the spark of  fire. I am such a pyro when it comes to annoying people. My plan forms in my head as a clear picture of wickedness!

Later that day, I slip out of the hotel room on the pretense of room shopping for toy purchases. I proceed downstairs to several dealers I know who always have the same room numbers at this show. I tell each of them about what has happened, and encourage them to come to our room in the next day or so and compliment me on my fitness, while ignoring Jack’s hard work. I also instruct each dealer to tell other dealers within the hotel what is going on and not to let on to Jack what I had planned for him. Boy this really worked out better than I had ever dreamed!

Satisfied, I return to the room and settle in for the fun to begin. Sure enough within an hour or so a dealer walks in. He begins praising me and ignoring Jack. I act embarrassed by the compliments and thank him. He nods at Jack and leaves.

Jack sits there brooding, as more and more dealers filter into the room, with basically the same actions. The day passes to the evening, and I can tell Jack has gotten more ruffled as dealer after dealer wanders in. That evening he grumbles about the situation some more, and not generally a very happy camper. I continued acting like the sympathetic friend with the shoulder to cry on, greatly amused at his snubbing. I keep  reassuring  him that things would be better the next day.

The morning hours begin new tortures for Jack as more and more dealers come in and praising me while in most cases almost completely ignoring Jack. By now Jack is fit to be tied, I think everyone in the hotel must have heard of the fun and everyone wanted to join in. Just before lunchtime, in comes this giant friend of ours (we will refer to him as bear).

Now bear is the six foot six individual with wild curly black hair, beard stubble and tattoos running rampant on his arms. He looks like an original Hell’s Angels founder. However Bear is one of the nicest gentleless guys you would ever meet. He comes up to me and gives me a huge hug, with those giant long arms. Stepping back and surveying me from head to toe, he grins and says “Jon my old bud,how ya been? You’re looking great, you losing weight?.” Then for the final straw that breaks the camel’s back, he turns to Jack and kind of snorts at him in contempt and asks”Why don’t you follow Jon’s lead?”

The next moment even I did not anticipate the reaction from Jack. He suddenly leaps up and shouts angrily” Dammit it all! I worked for weeks at the gym, to trim down, and all he did (me) is nothing! Everyone thinks he is looking great, but no one is even mentioning me!” With that, he storms out of the room, grumbling loudly all the way down the hall, and vanishes. The dealers there in the room burst out into a hearty laugh, which lasted for several minutes. Out in the hall other dealers in on the joke,  are snickering at him as he leaves.

I continue selling that day and several hours passed before Jack shows back up. Obviously in a black mood, he drops into one the chairs still grumbling, but not so loudly now. After he sits there a while, I finally admit that I set him up, and Jack informs me he will get me back for my trick. Needless to say he never forgot that and did try on at least one occasion to get me, but that is a story for a later date……..maybe after I work out a bit!