Zombie love – Fact or Fiction?
Do Zombies in fact “love” eating living human beings? Or do they just act upon the instinct of needing sustenance and attack the first living human they can find? I use the term living human beings because rarely in horror flicks does the Zombified individual nosh upon anything but good living human flesh. They can have a plethora of living animals around them and they still go for the 2 legged upright intelligent animal. Why is this?
Before they joined the fraternity of the dead, these creatures more than likely feasted upon succulent pork chops, hearty hamburgers, fried chicken, or possibly even american beef. Why then do they now prefer flesh of their own species to satisfy the nagging hunger of death? Personally dead or alive give me a 2 inch porter house steak with sauteed mushrooms and I am a happy camper.
This brings up a sidebar of thought, if your life was wasted on vegetables, legumes, and roots as a vegan, then would you become a card carrying member of the better red (meat) than undead club? Somehow a Zombified vegan standing in the middle of a garden of vegetables munching on carrot roots and celery stalks, does not bring to the average mind the romantic lure of clutching, grasping, horrible undead creatures attacking and ripping off chunks of muscle mass from innocent virgins. Somehow that scene loses something in the translation to the film screen.
Zombies Are Economically Sound
One thing is evident, since Zombies seem to prefer living flesh, think of all the money you can save on not needing any kind of cooking pots, pans, and utensils. Furthermore a stove would become a thing of the past. Cookbooks will vanish from the earth, and Julia Childs or Graham Kerr, or even Wolfgang Puck would become a whisper in the wind! Just think of all the piles of Tupperware and Glad storage containers that will no longer have a use.
Wow I can think of multi billions of dollars saved if you simply made everyone a Zombie. Unfortunately there would be a lot of big drawbacks. One major hurdle, if everyone is a Zombie, who do you eat? Do you raise herds of foreigners in the lnow useless cattle pens just to satisfy the new hunger? How bout attracting the illegal aliens across the border to feed the dead masses? It solves 2 problems at once.
The Social Ladder of the Undead
Do rich folk who fall under the teeth attack refuse to chomp on poor people? Or do poor people who eat rich folks step up the social ladder? What does one wear when joining in a flesh fest?
You must remember whatever you die in after being partially eaten is probably all you’ll ever wear again. I do not think there are any fashion boutiques for Zombies, and from what I have seen no Zombie will ever win a best dressed award. Clothes make a man, what do they make a Zombie?
Another thing, all the Zombies I have seen are generally drenched in blood, is the more blood you wearing bring you up the social scale with the other Zombie bretheren? Just think if Tide could come up with a special detergent just to remove the blood spots they would really clean up! (Obvious pun intended)
More tidbits of thought later……..
Love a Zombie, Lose a Limb?
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