My only friend is a Zombie, he ate everyone else!
Do Zombies in fact "love" eating living human beings? Or do they just act upon the instinct of needing sustenance and attack the first living human they can find? I use the term living human beings because rarely in horror flicks does the Zombified individual nosh upon anything but good living human flesh. They can have a plethora of living animals around them and they still go for the 2 legged upright intelligent animal. Why is this? Before they joined the fraternity of the dead, these creatures more than likely feasted upon succulent pork chops, hearty hamburgers, fried chicken, or possibly even american beef. Why then do they now prefer flesh of their own species to satisfy the nagging hunger of death? Personally dead or alive give me a 2 inch porter house steak with sauteed mushrooms and I am a happy camper. This brings up a sidebar of thought, if your life was wasted on vegetables, legumes, and roots as a vegan, then would you become a card carrying member of the better red (meat) than undead club? Somehow a Zombified vegan standing in the middle of a garden of vegetables munching on carrot roots and celery stalks, does not bring to the average mind the romantic lure of clutching, grasping, horrible undead creatures attacking and ripping off chunks of muscle mass from innocent virgins. Somehow that scene loses something in the translation to the film screen. Zombies Are Economically Sound One thing is evident, since Zombies seem to prefer living flesh, think of all the money you can save on not needing any kind of cooking pots, pans, and utensils. Furthermore a stove would become a thing of the past. Cookbooks will vanish from the earth, and Julia Childs or Graham Kerr, or even Wolfgang Puck would become a whisper in the wind! Just think of all the piles of Tupperware and Glad storage containers that will no longer have a use. Wow I can think of multi billions of dollars saved if you simply made everyone a Zombie. Unfortunately there would be a lot of big drawbacks. One major hurdle, if everyone is a Zombie, who do you eat? Do you raise herds of foreigners in the lnow useless cattle pens just to satisfy the new hunger? How bout attracting the illegal aliens across the border to feed the dead masses? It solves 2 problems at once. The Social Ladder of the Undead Do rich folk who fall under the teeth attack refuse to chomp on poor people? Or do poor people who eat rich folks step up the social ladder? What does one wear when joining in a flesh fest? You must remember whatever you die in after being partially eaten is probably all you'll ever wear again. I do not think there are any fashion boutiques for Zombies, and from what I have seen no Zombie will ever win a best dressed award. Clothes make a man, what do they make a Zombie? Another thing, all the Zombies I have seen are generally drenched in blood, is the more blood you wearing bring you up the social scale with the other Zombie bretheren? Just think if Tide could come up with a special detergent just to remove the blood spots they would really clean up! (Obvious pun intended) More tidbits of thought later........ Love a Zombie, Lose a Limb?
Anyone ever think or even notice that in all the Zombie movies up to now, the Zombies are generally dead bodies that have reanimated into moving killing machines? Now on a scientific level, exactly how does that work? The Human Body is a complex formula of chemical reactions that turn into movement of organs, muscles and actions. Yet if the body is actually dead, then how can a Zombie move? Not only do they move but they sometimes move swiftly, and with at least a rudimentary intelligence. Not all Zombies of course react the same way and in some movies actually are simply beings who have been taken over mentally. For arguments sake we will only refer to the "dead" bodies reanimated. If a muscle does not get a chemical electrical action that animates it, then how does dead tissue create movement. Furthermore as the body lays in death, rigor mortis sets in and the muscles become stiff and unmoving. Now exactly how is this overcome, and why does the Zombie begin moving? The eventuality of Zombism.... Now in some movies there are variations, such as time passes the Zombies slowly rot away, and eventually are destroyed through natural body tissue breakdown. Other variations, the Zombie continues on until the brain stem is destroyed. Why is this? If the brain is not being used except in only the most basic of functions why is it so important to the general well being of the entire body? How can a Zombie see? When the body dies, the eyes are one of the first organs to die off, with sight going black. This is caused by the lack of blood flow to the eye, which ceases the chemical and electrical impulses to operate the eyes. How do these Zombies magically begin seeing again once the body reanimates? Zombie classification from A to Z Why do Zombies always want to kill living people, and how do they distinguish between a live and dead body? It is suggested in at least one show recently a series the Walking Dead it is suggested that the creatures have a different odor thus alerting them not to chew on each other, but then once again the whole chemical reactions creating the sense of smell comes into play. On that note, if a Zombie attacks and kills a living person, the minute that person becomes undead does the Zombie suddenly stop chomping on their new recruit and leave to pursue more fresh meat? Do the Zombies taste a difference between different races or religions? Of course maybe they can't taste at all, just think if a Zombie attacks an unwashed Hippie type would he spit out the chunks? Would they perhaps prefer young virgins? How but Indian flesh today? Thai flesh or saucy South American Latinos? Zombie etiquette? What if the Zombie is toothless? Does he gum his flesh? or does he simply nibble away? What about Alzheimer patients? If a Zombie eats the brains from one, will it become disoriented and forgetful? Finally is there any discrimination among the undead? Will they stop at eating babies? How bout priests or other holy personnel? Or will the chomping of politicians sicken them with disgust? Is there a private hell for Zombied persons or person? No Zombies living or dead were harmed in the publication of this article. We love them all!